Depeche Corner of Expression (post all your art/lyrical thoughts/work here):7thPart

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Re: Re:

Postby SunBurN » Thu Apr 06, 2017 12:06 am

Feeling loved wrote:
SunBurN wrote:Break

Thought I'd learn to make you
happy in this life we've made
all the pain I bring you
shouldn't have to fake this long
and as we turn the pages
of this life we have embraced
I just want to thank you
thank you for saving me

and we're breaking down inside
and we take this empty life
and we make it what we're thinking it should be
and we break and lie inside
and take this crazy life
and break it like the waves upon the sea

but don't you feel on the inside
I can't...

I really like this!!
Wow!!! Reading through this thread makes me want to have been a member 8 years ago or so.

Thanks! Yeah there were a LOT of really good writers and people in general who visited and submitted their works to this thread back then. I hope some more of them are still around and come back :) But I'm sure there's other people visiting this site now that also have talent who never submitted anything before. So, don't be shy, submit :) I'd love to read other peoples poems, stories, songs etc. And I'll post more of mine too over time.
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Re: Re:

Postby katdm » Thu Nov 09, 2017 12:38 am

Yaay, the forum's back. So I'm going to post parts from my story. This time, referencing a song.

"15 minutes later, the girl with the porcelain skin made another appearence in the living room....this time, wearing a fluffy, peach-colored bathrobe.

-Do you know where Theo is? she asked Jen and Nic, the only people who were still there.
-He's in the kitchen, smoking, they replied.
-Courtney, where's my device?
-It's still in my hands, she replied, getting it out of the pockets of her tight black trousers, which had white stripes on the sides.
-Thanks, was the reply, followed by a kiss on the left cheek.
Strangely enough, my comeback in T.'s world was not hostile. But then again, we didn't speak to each other while the song was nothing could go wrong, right?
-So which one are you?
-The narrator, though I'm not sure about it.
-My faith won’t lie an idea, it is similar to me telling you that you shoudn't be jealous of my relationship with Dan. For me, he's a guy I've just met. For him, I'm a girl he just met.
-Are your both the storyteller and the girl?
-I'm both disillusioned and the type that tries to makes you understand that the feelings are real. No, that's not paradox, if that's what you wanted to say, I continued while putting my palm over his mouth. I'm more at my wits' end.
-I keep falling, maybe half the time?
-Something like that. should never question whether I love you or not. I really have that feeling for you. I truly believed that the things might change after I got out of hospital. That's why I looked so happy.
-It feels like nothing's changed at all. And also, that you started to take after John.
-I am not jealous, he clenched his teeth.
-You might not be, but just because you work with the mentally ill, that does not mean that you can cure me. I think we should break up for a while. You know, so that you won't throw other fits.
-Why won't you let me demonstrate my point of view, Rachel? I thought relationships were supposed to be based on equality.
-You've already told your side. Which destroyed all the positive stuff I knew 'bout you.
He probably went on to whisper curse words directed at me. But I didn't care enough about his actions in order to find out if that was actually the truth.
So I went to the small bedroom instead.
-Do any of you think that this room is a bit too small? I asked all the six people in the pearly white space.
-Bed's a bit crowded, but we can handle it, said my cousin, who was laying on the left side and on the wall. Next to him was Court, who was sitting on a pillow while dressed in a knee-length black floral dress.
The other pillow was occupied by Jennifer, who had black sweatpants and a grey T-shirt on. On the right side was Dan, who was wearing the same clothes as in the morning.
In front of Jen was Mel, in a yellow shirt with red and green lines on and black leggings. Nic, with a dark blue overall and a black shirt on, had one of his hands on her shoulder.
-Why has everyone shut up?
-No one went silent. We were just waiting for you to say something, replied Jen.
-Ah, ok....I broke up with T.
Each of them had a surprised look on their face. Dan even drew in his lips, as if he was barely restraining from replying.
-Why do I have the impression that something bad's about to happen? was both him and Brian's reaction.
-It's like you both syncronised, I laughed. I don't know what the future holds. But I really want to get away from him.
-Ok, ok, but what if he picks on you the same way John did?
-I want to make sure he won't be able to do that. Girls, do you think you can help me?
-We've always helped you, Jen and Court assured me. But if you want to, we can also beat people up, continued the latter. I mean, us and Sarah."

Ok, so now for references:
- The song the two are talking about is All The Rage Back Home from Interpol. I've loved it since 2014 (when it was released). I even heard it live in August this year. It was lovely.
- John was Rachel's former boyfriend, who beat her up. When R. is saying "getting out of hospital", she is refering to the time after her suicide attempt.
- Brian is Rachel's cousin
- Sarah is the bassist in R, C and J's band.
- Dan was wearing a black Eraserhead t-shirt and black sweatpants.
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Re: Re:

Postby katdm » Tue Nov 14, 2017 8:10 pm

Oh yeah, I forgot: as you can tell, I've changed the timeline. The whole story doesn't take place in the 90s anymore. The time is close to the present, but it's not really defined.

I made the change because I felt it was easier to write this way.
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